


Draw Me a Map

by memoryofyou



Series: The Alpha Dawn Series [3]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 23:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10729944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memoryofyou/pseuds/memoryofyou
Summary: Now an official member of the Alliance, Han's old friend finds herself navigating her new life as a rebel and her complicated relationship with Cassian Andor.





	1. Part One

“Welcome to the Alliance, Captain Y/L/N.” Mon Mothma said, standing behind her desk as Y/N stood at attention across from her. It still felt strange to Y/N, the military correctness, but she was giving it her best shot now that she had finished the requisite training and was officially a member of the Alliance.

 

“Thank you, Senator Mothma.” Y/N replied.

 

“Well, we’re all busy settling into our new base. I’m sure you have some place to be.”

 

“Of course, Senator. Thank you.” Y/N gave Mothma  a stiff nod before exiting the woman’s office. 

 

Making her way down the winding, twisting halls of the Hoth base, she went in search of the group she had lovingly dubbed the Rogues. Finally arriving at the Mess Hall, she found that they had taken over a large table in the corner - Cassian, Jyn, Bodhi, Baze, and Chirrut being joined by Han, Leia, and Luke - obviously waiting for her.

 

“Captain Y/L/N!” Han yelled out, drawing the attention of the rest of the table to her. Y/N rolled her eyes and pushed him over until she could fit between him and Bodhi. 

 

“I was already a captain, thank you.” Y/N replied, reaching over to grab a piece of bread from the middle of the table. “Until the Alliance wrecked my ship.”

 

“Yes, but now it’s official.” Jyn replied. “You’ve gone  _ legitimate _ , Y/N.” 

 

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” Y/N said, tossing a piece of bread at Jyn’s face. Jyn caught it in her mouth and the table erupted into laughs. 

 

“Also, I seem to remember that it was  _ you _ piloting the  _ Alpha Dawn _ when we crashed on this planet. So, technically, you wrecked your own ship.” Cassian replied, and Y/N rolled her eyes. 

 

“Semantics. I was on a mission for the rebellion, therefore it’s their fault.”

 

“ _ Your _ fault.” Han said with a wide grin. “You’re one of us now.”

 

“I regret this already. I resign my commission.” Y/N snapped, but couldn’t fight the small smile that appeared on her face. 

 

“It’s so kriffing cold here.” Y/N muttered later that night, as she walked down a hall with Han. She had been lending him a hand with the  _ Falcon _ , being one of the few aside from Chewie that the former smuggler trusted with his beloved ship. “I thought the engineers were working on a heat system.”

 

“I think the shield generator’s taking up most of their time.”

 

“The shield generator won’t do us much good if we all turn into Rebelsicles.”

 

“You’re so dramatic, Y/N.” 

 

“Because you’re one to talk.” Y/N shot back, and Han rolled his eyes.

 

“I am  _ not _ dramatic.”

 

“Oh, please. You are the definition of dramatic. Do you think no one sees how you act around Leia?”

 

“That was…That is not true.” Han said, but Y/N only smirked at her friend.

 

“Uh huh, whatever you say flyboy. You’ve got it bad for the princess, just admit it.” Y/N replied, turning on her heel to continue down the corridor.

 

“Y/N!” Han yelled, hurrying to catch up with her. “That is...I do not…”

 

“It’s okay, Han. Your secret is safe with me. And the rest of the base.”

 

The two continued in silence for a moment before turning the corner that led to Y/N’s quarters. Y/N stopped in place when she saw a figure leaning against the wall next to her door. Han quickly came up behind her, nearly bowling her over. He chuckled after a minute before nudging Y/N forward with his shoulder.

 

“Speaking of having it bad.” He muttered, before winking at Y/N and turning to go back the way he came. 

 

“Was I interrupting something?” Cassian asked, and Y/N raised an eyebrow in confusion.

 

“What? Han?” Y/N asked, gesturing behind her. “Nah, he was just giving me a hard time, as usual.”

 

“I can go, if you want me to.”

 

“No!” Y/N exclaimed quickly, placing her hand on Cassian’s shoulder as she keyed in the passcode for her door. “No, of course not. Come in.”

 

Cassian followed Y/N into her quarters, the door whooshing shut behind them as Y/N moved to remove her heavy boots and set them by the door. Cassian followed suit, setting his down next to hers as Y/N bounced over to bed, burying her sock-covered feet under the blankets immediately.

 

“I hate the cold.” Y/N grumbled, and Cassian chuckled as he casually moved over to the small sofa that he had recovered from the wreckage of the  _ Alpha Dawn _ when they had first begun to set up the new base. It was one of the few salvageable items from her ship, and she treasured it. “Why couldn’t we have set up on a nice beach planet?”

 

“If we had, you’d just complain about the humidity.” Cassian replied, and Y/N grabbed the nearest pillow and chucked it in his direction. Cassian caught it immediately, fluffing it up and placing it at one end of the sofa as he stretched out. “They’ll work on improving the heating system, once the shield generator is running.”

 

“So I’ve heard.” Y/N replied, watching Cassian from her place on the bed. “Now are you going to come over here and warm me up or not?” She added with a smirk. After a moment, Cassian turned his gaze from the ceiling to her, a small smile on his face. He pulled the pillow out from under his head and shot it at her, Y/N shrieking and ducking the projectile. Cassian used the distraction to launch himself at her, tackling her to the bed as Y/N laughed.

 

Several hours later, Y/N awoke to the sight of Cassian pulling his boots back on by the door, apparently doing his best not to wake her.

 

“You know, for a spy you’re not very quiet.” Y/N said, her voice heavy with sleep.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Cassian replied, moving back toward the bed. “I’ll see you at the briefing in the morning?” He asked, and Y/N nodded. Cassian stared at her for a moment, his eyes unreadable, before he dropped a quick kiss to her forehead and moved back toward the door. 

 

“Good night, Y/N.” He added before opening the door and slipping through.

 

“Good night, Cassian.” Y/N replied to the empty space, twisting around until she was lying flat on her back. She and Cassian had briefly danced around one another after she had been discharged from sick bay after the crash, but they had quickly fallen into...whatever they were doing now. They were frequently occupied with missions, taking whatever brief solace they could find with each other. But neither had ever brought up any feelings or attempts to define their relationship. Y/N had asked Jyn, once, for her opinion and she had told her that Cassian was always guarded with his feelings and had refused to say anything more about her best friend. Truth be told, a relationship had never been something that Y/N had been interested in pursuing - with anyone. A situation like the one she now had with Cassian, a bit of fun and stress release when needed, was always her preference. Now, however, as she moved over to the side of the bed where Cassian had been sleeping, she found herself craving his continued presence beside her. 

  
“Ugh, idiot. Stop it.” Y/N snapped to herself, pushing herself away and back to the side of the bed she had been sleeping on, punching the pillow into a more comfortable position and forcing herself to relax into sleep once again.


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been, like, nine months but here’s Part Two! I went through some personal struggles that I won’t bore you with here that led to the unexpected hiatus. But here it is! I’m already halfway through part three so I hope to have that up soon!

Despite the constant threat of Imperial attack, life on Hoth became positively routine as the days passed. A few weeks into their stay, Y/N had received orders to accompany Han and Leia on a mission to Ord Mantell. There, the Council hoped to find an ally in the planet's young ruling prince. Ord Mantell was an Imperial stronghold, and having it turn to the rebellion would be quite the coup for the Alliance. 

Y/N had just finished stowing her bag in her bunk on the Falcon when she felt a presence behind her. She turned and faced Cassian, leaning against the wall as she smiled at him.

"Good morning, Captain Andor."

"I did not realize you had been assigned to the Ord Mantell mission."

"General Draven thought the Princess could use someone else to watch her back. Honestly, though, I think he's afraid she and Han will kill each other with only Chewie to run interference."

"He's probably right." Cassian replied with a small upturn of his lips. 

"Where are you going?" Y/N asked, gesturing to the pack on Cassian's back. 

"One of my informants hasn't checked in several weeks. Jyn and I are going to check it out."

"How long will you be gone?"

"I'm not sure. He moves around a lot, it may take some time to find him."

Y/N felt her stomach clench as she thought of Cassian being gone for an indefinite amount of time, but forced an easy smile on her face as she nodded. 

"I'll see you when you get back, then."

She watched as Cassian studied her, moving closer to her as if they were being pulled together. She held her breath as the tips of his fingers ghosted over her forehead, the pads of his fingers moving to trace her cheek and then down to her neck. His hand rested there, his thumb tracing her jaw as his gaze bore into her. She looked away, unable to hold his stare. She reached up to fiddle with the zipper on his coat, her eyes focused on the task. She heard Cassian take a breath, preparing to speak, and Y/N cut him off with a quiet chuckle. 

"Watch out for Jyn, okay? I'd hate to have to go out and save her again."

"Of course." Cassian replied, and Y/N felt his hand squeeze against her neck gently. 

"Y/N, I..." Cassian began, stepping further into her space. Instinctively, Y/N slipped her hands around his waist. It was teh same move she had made dozens of times since they had started sleeping together months ago, but something about it felt different, more intimate, than before. 

"Oh, excuse me." A new voice said, the spell broken. Cassian stepped away from her, Y/N's arms slipping away from Cassian to fall by her side. 

"Han said that we have clearance from Ops to leave."

"Good luck on Ord Mantell, Your Highness." Cassain said. "Captain Y/L/N." He nodded to them both before disappearance toward the ship's exit.

"I'm sorry if I interrupted something." Leia said, flding her hands in front of her. 

"It's fine, it's just...Cassian." Y/N replied, gesturing in the general direction of where the man had disappeared. 

Later, after they had begun their hyperspace journey, Y/N had just lost a game of sabacc to Chewie when Han appeared, grabbing a ration pack before eyeing her from across the room. Unable to take his stare, she huffed and glared back at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Something I can help you with, Solo?"

"I saw Andor leave in a hurry right before we left."

"So?"

"So, I'm wondering if you gave him a loving farewell, that's all."

"What business is it of yours if I did?"

"Just trying to look out for a friend."

"I didn't realize you and Captain Andor were friends."

"I'm talking about you, laser brain."

"And why would I need to be looked out for?" Y/N asked, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Y/N,' Han replied, leaning forward in his seat. "I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"I'm not going to get hurt. Cassian and I...we have an arrangement. It works."

"Yeah, until it doesn't."

"Speaking from experience?" Y/N asked. "the Princess doesn't seem like the 'no strings attached' type."

"I'm not...Leia and I aren't...look, don't change the subject!" Han argued, shaking his head and gesturing wildly with his hands.

"Han, really. I appreciate the concern. But I'm fine. It's all...it's all fine."

"I've known you for a long time, Y/N." Han said. "Underneath all that bravado, you're really a soft touch."

"Takes one to know one." Y/N replied, nudging Han in the shoulder as she passed him. "I'll be in my bunk, let me know when we reach Ord Mantell."


	3. Part Three

After landing on Ord Mantell, Y/N and Han followed behind Leia as they were led by a guard into the expansive royal palace. It had been a less than royal welcome, but Y/N suspected that few knew about the prince’s rebellious inclinations. Even Leia was incognito, her long brown hair twisted into two simple plaits and piled at the base of her neck, her typical white gowns replaced with a shirt, vest, and trousers in various shades of browns. They were as inconspicuous as coud be, which seemed to be a moot point as they failed to see another soul before they arrived in what Y/N could only assume was the throne room. The expansive, golden room was only populated by the prince and what looked to be an advisor, if his age and cold demeanor were anything to go by. By contrast, the prince was young and handsome, with dark curly hair and vivid purple eyes. 

“Prince Machus.” Leia greeted, extending her hand toward the man. “It is wonderful to see you again.”

“You as well, Leia.” Machus greeted, clasping her hand with both of his own. 

“How long has it been?”

“I believe it was your investiture ceremony, Machus.”

“Too long, then.” Machus replied smoothly, bringing Leia’s hand to his lips.   
Y/N could instantly feel Han tense next to her, and watched him from the corner of her eye as the two royals conversed. 

“And who are you companions?” Machus asked, and Leia turned to face them both. 

“This is Commander Han Solo and Captain Y/N Y/L/N of the Alliance.”

Y/N took the prince’s hand when he offered it, and watched as Han hesitated for a moment before doing the same. Machus then guided Leia away from them and toward the large table where the advisor waited, and Y/N watched in slight awe as Leia got to work, effortlessly steering the conversation where she wanted it to go. She smoothly argued against the advisor’s many concerns about Ord Mantell joining the Alliance, while simultaneously encouraging the Prince’s ego by insisting how vital Ord Mantell’s assistance was to the Alliance. By the end of the day, an agreement still had not been reached, and Machus extended an offer for them to stay in the palace for the night. He guided Leia out of the throne room, Y/N following behind while Han went to update Chewie. Machus led them to an expansive guest apartment, where several servants were already laying out a number of gowns to wear for that night’s dinner. Y/N eyed them all warily as Leia bid Machus farewell. By the time she returned to her side, Y/N was thumbing a heavily-encrusted green gown, the fabric flowing smoothly through her fingers. 

“Which one do you want to wear?” Leia asked, and Y/N shook her head vigorously. 

“You’re the diplomat, not me Your Highness.” 

“Oh please, Y/N, you can’t leave me alone with Machus. At least, with you there, i’ll be able to get through dinner without the urge to stab myself with a fork to get out of it early.”

Leia’s wide, pleading brown eyes was how, an hour later, Y/N found herself dressed in a gown that probably cost more than her starship had. Her Y/H/C had been artfully styled by one of the servants, and there were so many products on her face that she felt as is she was wearing a mask. 

"An awful lot of work for a private dinner.” Y/N grumbled, fussing with her sleeve as she and Leia waited for Prince Machus and Han. 

“Machus has always been about appearances.” Leia replied. “Ord Mantell isn’t exactly known as a bright, shining center of civilization and sophistication in the galaxy. He wants to improve that image.” She continued, smoothing out her own grey gown as Han approached. Y/N took a moment to take in her smuggler friend in his Alliance uniform, tugging at the collar of his coat before his eyes moved to Leia. Y/N watched as Leia blushed under his gaze, doing her best to hide it. 

“You clean up nice.” Y/N said, distracting Hand. “For a no good smuggler, that is.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” Han replied, smirking. “For a hotshot no-ship-having pilot, that is.”

“Now, now, we are all friends here, are we not?” Machus interjected, entering hte room in his own elaborate robes. “You do look lovely, though, Captain Y/L/N.”

“Thank you, Your Highness.”

“Allow me to escort you into the dining room?”

“Um, of course.” Y/N replied, tucking her hand in the cook of the Prince’s offered arm. She glanced back at Leia with a raised eyebrow, but the Alderaanian just shrugged and took Han’s arm. 

After dinner, Leia excused herself to the Falcon, needing to contact the Council, Han going with her. Machus led Y/N to a small sitting room, a protocol droid already setting out a tray of drinks as they entered. 

“Tell me about yourself, Captain.” Machus asked, handing her a glass of something blue and bubbly. 

“Not much to tell.” Y/N replied, taking a sip of the mildly sweet drink. “Born on a tiny speck of a planet in the middle of nowhere. Left as soon as I could, took enough jobs to get by, then joined the Alliance.”

“And do you believe in the cause you are fighting for? The cause Princess Leia is asking me to risk the lives of my people for?”

Y/N studied Machus before she answered. He was an overindulged, haughty man, to be sure. But, she could see that, under his facade, he seemd to truly care about the well-being of his people. 

“Your Highness-”

“Machus, please.”

“Machus.” Y/N corrected, setting down her drink and turning to face him fully. “If you choose to join the rebellion, you are taking a sizable risk. We could lose. The Empire could stomp us into stardust, and all this would have been for nothing. Your people would suffer, would die, for your choices.”

“You’re not exactly selling me on this, Captain.”

“No, but this is the truth. Nothing worth fighting for ever came easy. Millions throughout the galaxy suffer every day at the hands of the Empire, and this alliance is their only, best hope for freedom and peace. I’ve watched them overcome insurmountable odds, and they’ll fight to the last man for planets like Ord Mantell, whether yoi join them or not.

"You asked me if I believe in the Cause? No, I don’t. I believe in them, in the people fighting for the Cause. It’s the only thing I’ve ever believed in.”

“You are…surprisingly earnest, Captain.” Machus replied after a moment. “I am…quite convinced.”

Y/N watched the Mantellian prince with wide eyes. He set his drink down next to hers and leaned in closer to her, a warm smile on his face.

“You are not what I expected, Captain Y/L/N.”

Y/N felt her stomach clench as the Prince moved toward her, his hand gently grasping her own. Immediately and unbidded, her mind was filled with an image of Cassian. The memory of the small smile on his face as he hovered over her in her bed, his fondness for her so obvious, felt like a punch to her gut. She stepped backward, out of Machus’ grasp, shaking her head slightly as she raced to find the words that wouldn’t offend the Prince and destroy Ord Mantell’s allegiance in its crib.

“Your Highness, I…”

“My apologies if I have misread the situation, Captain.”

“You haven’t, Machus. You are handsome and intelligent, and charming, and if this had been just a few months ago…”

“I see.” Machus replied with a nod. “Well, he or she is a very lucky person, Captain.”

“Y/N, please.”

“Y/N.” Machus replied, picking up her glass and handing it back to her. “Shall we toast, then? To new friendships?”

“To new friendships.” Y/N replied, clinking her glass with his. Before they could drink, however, the door to the room burst open and Han and Leia stumbled inside. 

“What happened?” Y/N asked, taking in their disheveled appearance.

“Machus, I’m afraid that we must cut out visit short.” Leia replied. 

“Everything is well, I hope?” Machus asked, and Leia nodded.

“Yes, I’m afraid that something has…come up unexpectedly and we must return to our base tonight.”

“Of course. I will contact you soon to finalize the details of Ord Mantell formally joining the Alliance.”

“That’s…that’s wonderful news, Machus.” Leia replied, clearly stunned.

“I wish you all a safe journey.” Machus replied. “Please let me know if I or my people can be of any assistance. Farewell Leia, Commander Solo, Y/N.”

“Y/N, huh?” han joked once they were making their way toward the landing pad where the Falcon waited. “You must have done some quick convincing after we left.”

“Of, kriff off Solo.” Y/N snapped. “What’s happened that’s causing us to leave in such a hurry?”

“We had company waiting for us when we got back to the ship earlier.” Leia replied. “A bounty hunter.”

“Do you think Machus…?”

“No, he worked for the Hutts.”

“The Hutts?” Han, you mean to tell me you haven’t paid off Jabba?“

"I’ve been a ltitle busy.” Han replied shortly as they boarded the Falcon. 

“Anyway, I took care of him, but it’s probably in our best interest to get off this planet as soon as possible”.“

The flight back to Hoth was uneventful, minus Y/N’s grumbling that they had left her regular clothes behind in their haste, leaving her stuck in the gown. Y/N’s teeth were chattering by the time they were walking down the ramp of the Falcon, but her thoughts of the cold drifted away as she spotted Bodhi and Chirrut waiting for them. Chirrut was still and silent, while Bodhi was restless and fidgety next to him.

"What’s wrong?” Y/N asked as she reached them, Leia and Han a few steps behind her.

“Jyn just got back.” Bodhi replied, his eyes full of worry.

“And Cassian?” Y/N could hear the crack of emotion in her voice at Cassian’s name.

“They were ambushed while they were looking for Cassian’s informant. He was caught in an explosion during their escape.” Bodhi replied, shaking his head. 

“He’s…he’s gone.”


	4. Part Four

Y/N was numb as Bodhi and Leia led her away from the  _ Falcon _ . She didn't say a word as Leia helped her change into warmer clothes in her quarters, and stayed silent as Bodhi walked with her to the medical wing, where Jyn waited. The moment the other woman was in sight, the reality of the situation crashed around her. She watched as the medics worked to treat Jyn's injuries, a large bacta patch wrapped around her shoulder as they reset her broken arm. Y/N knew that Jyn, despite her injuries, wouldn't have left Cassian behind if there was even a chance that he was alive. To see her here, now, meant that he really was dead.

 

"Y/N." Jyn said, her voice quiet. Y/N stepped into the room as the medics left, Bodhi standing watch outside the room.

 

"What happened, Jyn?"

 

"We found his informant soon after we landed, everything seemed normal. He said he heard some rumblings about major Imperial movements in the sector, said that there was someone we should speak to. Kriff, we should have known better. He turned on us, sold us out to the ISB. We fought our way out, but they tracked us back to the ship. Cassian, he...he covered me until I made it into the ship. I tried, Y/N, I tried but he...I couldn't..."

 

Y/N had never seen such emotion from Jyn in the time that she had known her, but the woman was close to hysterics as Y/N climbed into the bed next to her. She wrapped her arms around her friend as she did the same, the two of them huddled close as Jyn cried quietly.

 

"I'm so sorry, Y/N." Jyn murmured after a while, her breathing erratic.

 

"Hey, Jyn, this is not your fault, do you understand me? You did everything you could."

 

"Cassian trusted me to watch his back, and now he's dead. How is this not my fault?"

 

"Cassian knew the risks, we all do. He wouldn't want you to feel guilty. He would be happy that you came home safe."

 

"He should have come home to you, Y/N."

 

"Cass and I...we weren't..."

 

"I know how he felt about you, no matter how undecided things were.”

 

“I don’t...I can’t…” Y/N struggled, and felt Jyn’s arms wrap around her waist. They were silent after that, but Y/N could tell from Jyn’s erratic breathing that her friend was far from sleep.

 

Time crawled by slowly, and it was only when Y/N saw Luke enter the room that she snapped out of her haze. She untangled herself from Jyn, and let Luke take her place in the bed. She left the room without a word, Baze having replaced Bodhi as sentry outside the room. He placed a large hand on her shoulder and squeezed, and Y/N placed her hand on top of his before walking away. The rest of the halls were blessedly empty as she made her way to her room. She half expected to see Cassian leaning against the wall by her door, as he was wont to do after either of them returned from a mission. Instead, she felt her breath leave her at the realization that he would never stand there again, never hold her, never give her one of his rare smiles. 

 

She entered her room, which somehow felt even colder than it had before, and collapsed onto the bed in a heap. She twisted around and fought with the blankets until she was cocooned, realizing belatedly that she was still wearing the layers of makeup from dinner. Had that really only been a few hours ago? She felt as if her life had been turned on its head since she had left Ord Mantell. She suddenly wished with all of her being that she could go back ot standing in Machus’ palace, because she’d realized in the moment with sudden clarity that…

 

She hadn’t told him.

 

She’d never told Cassian the truth. 

 

The days passed in a haze as she failed to leave her room. She’d heard first Bodhi, then Luke, even Han at her door, but she refused to answer. It took all the energy she had to even make trips to the ‘fresher and return to her bed. She slept fitfully, her dreams haunted, and subsisted on the ration bars she had stashed away in her room. She knew that she was wallowing in her misery, but she was also angry at herself for getting attached. This is what happened when she let people in, and now she would pay the price for it. 

 

On the third day, another knock at her door roused her from her sleep. She ignored it, until Baze’s voice traveled through the door. 

 

“Open the door, girl.”

 

“Leave me alone Baze.” She had interacted with Baze the least of the Rogues in the time she had known them. While she respected the man, the last thing she wanted was a reminder of her connection to Cassian. A few moments later, she heard the hiss of the door opening and glared up from the bed to see Chirrut and Baze both standing there, having bypassed the door’s security protocols. 

 

“Go away.” She grumbled, turning away from them.

 

“Little sister is worried about you.” Baze replied, stepping into the room with his husband. 

 

“When was the last time you left this room?” Chirrut asked, and Y/N shrugged under the blankets. “The Force is dark here.”

 

“The Force can kriff off.” Y/N said, pushing herself into a sitting position. “And so can the both of you.”

 

“Do you blame Jyn for what happened to Cassian?” Chirrut asked, and Y/N immediately shook her head.

 

“No, of course not.”

 

“She thinks that you do. She thinks that’s why you haven’t left your room since she returned.”

 

Y/N felt guilt wash over her as she thought of her friend suffering. She sighed heavily and pushed her hair out of her face to glare at Chirrut.

 

“That’s not fair.”

 

“It is not, but nothing about what has happened is fair.”

 

“I just...can’t believe that he’s gone.” 

 

Y/N curled in on herself as she felt Chirrut wrap his arms around her. She breathed shakily until she felt Baze sit on the bed behind her, offering his own warmth and comfort. She let herself relax between the two men, sitting in silence as she thought of Cassian, and Jyn, and everything that had happened. She felt herself lean further into Chirrut’s embrace, true sleep claiming her for the first time in days.


	5. Part Five

As the weeks passed, life went on for the rebellion. They were still struggling to settle in on the desolate ice planet, and Y/N did what she could to help - though she still hadn’t been cleared for field duty. Leia was insisting that she see a mind healer, but the last thing Y/N wanted was to talk about her  _ feelings _ with anyone, much less a stranger. So, she worked with Bodhi on adapting the speeders to the cold; She sparred with Chirrut and helped both he and Baze train the new recruits; She even spent one frigid afternoon riding through the frozen landscape on a tauntaun helping Luke set up perimeter sensors around the base. After that, she had volunteered Han to complete the task and swore that she would never venture outside the base again. 

 

Life became...almost normal. Still, Y/N saw reminders of Cassian everywhere. After digging herself out of the hole she had made for herself in her quarters, she had put everything away that reminded her of Cassian. It had surprised her to realize how much of the man she could find in her room. There were small souvenirs he had brought her from missions, which were painful to look at but easy enough to put away. It wasn’t until she had found one of his jackets in her closet that she had broken down, pressing her face into the worn leather as she sank to the floor. She had allowed herself to wallow in the pain, but refused to cry. After she declared herself done, she packed the jacket away and put the box at the top of her closet. Still, when it had come to the simple piece of worn leather sitting on her desk, she found that she couldn’t part with it. Cassian had given it to her as a joke after their first trip to Hoth, the old bracelet had been what he had given her to put between her teeth when he cauterized her wound. You could still see the impressions in the fabric where she had bitten down, and Y/N had gently slapped the back of his head before accepting the token. 

 

Now, she wrapped the leather around her wrist, the final reminder of the man she had…

 

Y/N’s thoughts were interrupted by Leia’s voice on her commlink. She thumbed the communicator on and greeted her friend with a tired hello.

 

“Have you seen Luke?” Leia asked, and Y/N frowned. 

 

“No, not since before he and Han went out to finish the sensors. Why?”

 

“Han is back, but he isn’t.”

 

“He’s not answering comms?”

 

“No.” Leia replied, clearly upset and worried. 

 

“I’ll be right there.” Y/N replied, turning on her heel and leaving her quarters.

 

“That’s my friend out there!” Y/N could hear Han yell as she entered the hangar, and she jogged up to meet Han, Jyn, and Leia as they argued with a man she didn’t recognize. 

 

“We’re going after him, and you can’t stop us.” Jyn snapped, and Y/N saw that she was strapping a saddle on one of the tauntauns.

 

“Jyn, what’s happening?” Y/N asked, and the brunette woman turned to face her.

 

“They can’t raise Luke on the comms. He’ll freeze to death if we don’t find him.”

 

“The tauntauns won’t survive this cold. Bodhi and I will have the speeders ready by morning…”

 

“Morning will be too late!” Jyn argued, and Y/N could see the panic in her eyes. “It’ll be too late, and I can’t...I can’t lose him like I did Cassian.”

 

Jyn’s voice grew quiet as Y/N placed a hand on her arm. “I won’t survive it.” Jyn whispered, and Y/N nodded in understanding. 

 

“Let them go.” Leia ordered, and Han smirked as he climbed onto his own tauntaun. 

 

“Captain Solo, General Erso, your tauntauns will freeze before you reach the first marker.” The man argued as Jyn nudged her animal toward the hangar doors. 

 

“Then we’ll see you in hell.” Han snapped, following Jyn.

 

Y/N stood next to Leia as they watched their friends leave. They waited until they were completely out of sight before Leia turned to her, a determined look on her face.

 

“Get those speeders working, Captain.” Leia ordered, and Y/N nodded before running off in search of Bodhi.

 

It took less than an hour before the rest of their friends showed up in the hangar, offering their help. Y/N and Bodhi put Chirrut, Baze, and Leia to work immediately, ordering them to fix this, adjust that, tweak these in an attempt to get the speeders working in the damnable cold. Y/N worked with a singular determination, especially after Leia had come back with news that the bay doors had been locked for the night - that Han and Luke were on their own.

 

The sun was just coming over the horizon when she and Bodhi declared that the speeders were ready to test. Y/N could feel exhaustion deep in her bones, but she didn’t hesitate to dismiss one of the pilots assigned to the mission to climb into a speeder of her own. 

 

“Y/N…” Leia greeted, watching her strap herself in before handing her a helmet. “Bring them home.”

 

“Always.” Y/N replied, though she couldn’t help but think of Cassian, who they  _ hadn’t _ been able to bring home.

 

“May the Force be with you.”

 

Y/N could only nod back as she fired up the engines, following Captain Antilles’ lead as they called out.

 

“Rogue Leader, this is Rogue Two, ready for lift off.”

 

The speeders responded better than Y/N had hoped, and the flight was smooth and untroubled as she focused on scanning the endless white waste below her. 

 

“Captain Solo, Commander Skywalker, this is Captain Y/L/N, do you read me?” She repeated over and over, knowing that their life signs could easily be missed by the scanners. Her only real hope was to catch them on the comms and have them lead her to them. She searched for hours, ignoring Command’s requests to return to the base to switch out with a fresh pilot.

 

As her hope began to dwindle, she called out one last time on the comms and felt her stomach clench as she heard static and and unintelligible response.

 

“Han? Is that you?” Y/N responded, trying to keep the hope out of her voice. 

 

“Took you long enough!” Han’s voice rang out clearly, and Y/N couldn’t stop the half sob, half chuckle that escaped her at the sound of his voice. 

 

“Luke?” 

 

“He’s injured pretty bad, but he’s alive. Sending you our coordinates now.”

 

“Base, this is Rogue Two. I’ve found them. Repeat, I’ve found them!” 


	6. Part Six

It seemed like Luke had barely had time to recover by the time the Imperials discovered the base. Y/N and Bodhi were on one of the first transports off of Hoth, much to her anger. Pilots were scarce, and it took two of them to pilot the heavy transport. Y/N sighed with relief when Bodhi sent the ship into hyperspace, though the worry for her friends still on the ice planet was clear on her face. There was to be no communication between the ships until they reached the rendezvous point, so she and Bodhi would have no idea who made it out until it was over. 

 

Y/N leaned back in her chair as the stars streaked by, turning her gaze to Bodhi, who looked just as troubled.

 

“Hey.” Y/N called, and Bodhi turned to look at her. “They’ll make it out.”

 

“I don’t like leaving them behind.”

 

“Me either, but they need us to do our jobs, and they’ll do theirs.”

 

“You’ve come a long way, Captain Y/L/N.”

 

“Yeah, you’re all terrible influences on me.” Y/N joked, and Bodhi relaxed with a laugh. Their relaxation lasted only a moment longer until their ship fell out of hyperspace.

 

“What the hell?” Y/N exclaimed, flipping the controls as she tried to determine what had happened. 

 

“The laser cannons must have damaged the hyperdrive, we’re leaking fuel like crazy.” Bodhi replied. “We’ll have to set her down and make repairs. 

 

Y/N studied the star map and found an out of the way planet they could reach at sublight speed, and set the transport toward the smuggling haven of Arellana. Once they were safely on the outskirts of town, she and Bodhi inspected the ship and found the damage extensive, but repairable. 

 

“I’m going to go into town, see if I can round up some supplies that aren’t freeze-dried rations.”

 

“I should have us space worthy in a few hours.” Bodhi replied, turning away to get the rebels they had been transporting to work. Y/N climbed on the speeder bike she had pulled out of the ship’s hastily-packed storage and took off in the direction of Ratos, the capital city of the continent they had landed on.

 

The city was alive with activity as she parked her speeder. Arellana was a metropolist of trade - legit enough that they passed Imperial inspections, but seedy enough that you could find whatever you wanted if you looked hard enough. It was one of the few trade planets in the Outer Rim not controlled by the Hutts, which Y/N was thankful for. She had a better relationship with the slugs than, say, Han, but she avoided dealing with them whenever possible. She slipped through the crowded streets, bartering with the people selling fruits and vegetables in their small stands, a smile growing on her face. It had been a while since she had been free to do what she liked - no mission, no rules - and she found herself wandering further into the city than she had planned. The crowds began to thin, and Y/N felt her heart stutter when the sight of three stormtroopers standing guard in front of an inconspicuous building caught her eye. She pretended to be interested in the scarf that an old woman was selling as she studied the soldiers. They were elite, she could tell, which meant whatever was in the building was important. After watching them for a few more moments, she slipped into a nearby alley and pulled out her comm. 

 

“Bodhi? Are you there?”

 

“I’m here, Y/N. What’s going on?”

 

“How are those repairs coming?”

 

“Almost finished, why?”

 

“I’ve come across something...interesting. Imperial-interesting. I’m going to have a look around, but we may need to make a quick getaway.”

 

“Y/N...I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

 

“It’s just a little recon, Rook. What’s the worst that can happen?”

 

“I really wish you hadn’t said that.”

 

“I’ll comm you when I’m on my way back.”

 

“No, Y/N-” Bodhi started, but Y/N shut off the commlink before he could finish.

 

Walking further down the alley, Y/N found a back entrance to the building that was only guarded by one stormtrooper. Wrapping the scarf she had bought from the old lady over her head, she stumbled down the alleyway in an attempt to look drunk. 

 

“Hey, you can’t be here!” The stormtrooper warned as she neared him. 

 

“Wha? I’m jus’ walkin’ down the street.”

 

“You have to leave, ma’am.” 

 

“Lemme tell you somethin’, I don’t hafta do nothin’ you say.” Y/N replied, poking the stormtrooper in the chest. 

 

“Alright ma’am, let’s go.” The soldier replied, grasping her wrist. In a flash, Y/N twisted her arm, throwing the stormtrooper off balance as she tripped him, grabbing his blaster and hitting him over the head with it. 

 

“Shouldn’t have called me ‘ma’am’.” Y/N grumbled, opening the door he had been guarding and stepping inside. 

 

It was an old, dilapidated building and there seemed to be nothing of import as she moved silently between the rooms. There was evidence that someone had been living there recently, but for the most part the home was covered in dust, as if they had moved in quickly and hadn’t bothered to clean up. She was about to give up on the place when she heard a loud thumping noise followed by a muffled groan. She followed the sounds as they continued, a voice becoming clearer as she moved downstairs and into the basement.

 

“You will tell me what I want to know, Commander.” The voice said, and Y/N crouched on the stairs to get a better look at the interrogator. She couldn’t see the prisoner, but if their rank was any indication, it was a member of the Alliance. When the Imperial agent got no response, Y/N saw as he raised his hand again, striking the prisoner across the face with a closed fist. 

 

“You will tell me the location of your base.”

 

“Go kriff yourself.” The prisoner replied, and Y/N felt ice flood her veins at the familiar voice. Telling herself it couldn’t be true, she slipped further down the staircase in an attempt to get a better look. Finally, she could see around the agent, and she had to use every ounce of self-control she had not to cry out at the sight of the person chained to the ground not twenty feet away from her.

 

_ Cassian, you’re alive _ . 


End file.
